Reasons for Pre-Marital CounsellingRelationship Advice: Dr. Barton Goldsmith

Posted by Blush Magazine Posted on August 4, 2013

It’s June and wedding season is upon us. Whenever I am invited to a ceremony, I always wonder if the couple really talked about what their lives together would be like. Funny thing is, when you are wrapped up in the warm bliss of love, you sometimes forget to take a long hard look at the practical side. Most couples spend more time picking out a new car than they do preparing themselves for the biggest commitment of their lives. Marriage is not to be taken lightly, it is a very serious decision and you need to know everything you can about how you both view life before you decide to spend the rest of it together.

I highly recommend Pre-Marital Counseling because it answers many questions and helps you avoid potential problems. You are aware of how much you love your partner and how much you enjoy each other, but what about the potential pit falls? Have you discussed the important things like kids, and in-laws, where you will retire? Unfortunately, most couples don’t and that is how marital dreams become a wedded nightmare. Pre-Marital Counseling helps you get too know each other and yourself at a deeper level. The things that are important to you both will come to the surface and you will learn to talk about them in a positive way.

Finding a counsellor or mentor to help you discuss your future together is an important decision. There and many qualified Marriage and Family Therapists who are well trained in this area, or you can pick someone you know and respect to help guide you through learning more about each other in a non-threatening way.

It is a way to avoid potential problems in the future. If you find out that you do not agree on how you want to live together, you can overcome this problem without becoming disagreeable or surprising each other a year or two into your marriage. It will also help you learn how to ask questions and get your needs met. You need to discuss how you will live, where you spend holidays and what matters to both of you. You will learn to create a “we” from an “I” and how to best make practical decisions about your future together.

Pre-Marital Counselling also helps you understand the business side of your relationship. The number one reason for divorce are financial issues, you have to get together on how you will handle money matters. Most couples think that it will just all work out, and sometimes that happens, but what if one of you loses your job or has to move to keep the one you have? These are important things to look at before they happen so that you know where you stand and have agreed on how to handle these types of issues if and when they arise. Another reason to look into pre-marital counseling is because divorce is a lot more expensive than counseling. Think of it as an investment in your future happiness.

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